cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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