Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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