the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
