I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
