I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
