So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
