took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
you never un-have a 4some
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
