I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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