i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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