I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
