He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
