every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
