You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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