I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
