Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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