I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Randomize
