If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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