sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
