sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He better not be in your backpack
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
