It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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