just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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