you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
