Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
