Buhtt sex?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize