He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
