How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Randomize
