OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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