I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
