Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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