she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
