Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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