I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
