i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
