Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you win again, gameday.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize