All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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