Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize