Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
