Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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