I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Randomize
