I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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