Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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