just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
