Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
