well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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