Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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