shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
