I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
