well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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