so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
