Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
