If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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