I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
