we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
