I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
whose ass print is on the piano?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
