addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
