i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
