We need to rekindle our bromance
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
