I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
