just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
