My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
