from now on my penis is your penis
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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