as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
